update

I would have thought, with the lack of homework, exams and internship I would have had more time to keep current on my blog. Well.... I have to apologize for that :) I spent the last 2 months having fun with my girls. We have gone to the beach, park and just spent some quality time together. Both my girls are growing so quickly I am trying to be an important part of their girlhood and development.

My youngest started sixth grade this year. As she stood infront of her school sign waiting for me to take her picture, I realize it would be the last "first day of school" picture at this school. Next year she will start middle school and that is a whole new set of teachers, administration and children she will be learning to handle.

My middle child and older daughter started high school. She is on the color guard and is already looking at a very active schedule. I am so proud of her and how hard she works to maintain her grades and keep a balanced social life. She is learning a full set of teachers, hallways, and upperclassmen and keeping a good perspective of it.

As far as work - well.... right now it is a dry spell for social workers. I have to say I am getting a bit frustrated and feel as though I am beating my head into the wall. I do have an on call position that I really enjoy, however there are just not enough hours to be considered a steady income and the type of job it is, well, it would be extremely selfish of me to wish for more hours because it would mean something bad has happened :(

I have been a huge fan of a blog called "Is there salsa in China?" about a married couple who adopted twin girls from China. This is possibly one of the best blogs I have ever been privledged to follow. Recently, after following links on their blog I came accross a blog called Catherine's Chatter. This lady is an amazing testiment to waiting on God's hand to move. She is adopting a little girl from China as well. It has been over 3 1/2 years since her paperwork was sent to China and approved. At this time it was taking approximately 1 year from log in date to referal but it has slowed way down and now China is only getting 2-3 days worth of log in dates done a month. Today, Catherine saw her baby girl's picture for the first time. She posted pictures and this young baby is just precious. I pray that Catherine and her new daughter are united quickly and have a wonderful time bonding and a wonderful life together as mother and daughter.

As we celebrated Father's Day

I realized something - it was a year ago that my marriage was in so much trouble that both dh and I could not see a future together. We were both miserable - both depressed - did not want much to do with each other. It was bad - when I talked to him then, he told me that he didn't know if he even wanted to try anymore - he wasn't willing to change. We started discussing how we would separate - we didn't dislike each other - we just didn't like each other either.


I told him the day after father's day last year that I was not leaving and I wanted to at least try. We decided to give it through the summer to see how things were going. At first it seemed that it was all me giving - doing whatever I could for him - little things like making lunch for him when he came home rather than letting him do it himself - making sure he had everything he needed for making mochas daily and running an iced water to him when he was at work. After a couple of months he started doing little things for me - nothing major just things like saying thank you for dinner or noticing a new shirt - picking up my favorite candy without me asking for it...


a few months ago - when my schedule was soooo hectic and my nights were filled with writing papers - he suggested we started having a weekly lunch date - just the two of us so we could reconnect with each other.


He was so proud to see me graduate and has been insisting I take a little bit of time off before I start working (which is fine with me since I don't have my license yet anyways). He is understanding that I am going a bit stir crazy and having a hard time going to bed at a normal hour... understands when I have to escape the house for a few hours and go visit with a friend. He is recognizing I am a social person and need the frequent socialization whereas he is not. If I am in the house rather than in the garage with him, it isn't long before he heads in to sit in the living room with me and watch some television...


I find myself thinking of him at random moments during the day and it brings such a longing for him to be home it almost brings me to tears. When he is home I just want to be in the same room with him.


A year ago - I couldn't see a future with my husband - and today I can not even fathom a future without him. It has been an amazing journey.

Graduation

The social work banquet great!!!! I dressed up all fancy and purty!!! You will have to wait to see pics though because I don't have a camera so I gotta wait for my mom to send me some.

I was fine about giving my speech until I got up front and then oooooh goodness I could barely talk LOL But I got thru it and then got my honor society medalion afterwards and my social work pin - my medalion is huge and heavy The back of it is engraved with my name, college, graduation year and President I am very proud to be wearing it to commencement on Friday -

I am GRADUATING!!!! It is still kind of surreal that it is actually happening!


lol Ohhh and the bestest part of the evening - my internship supervisor and co-worker came and I was talking to them - my coworker is applying to a different office because she will be closer to home and be away from her baby less and my supervisor told me that if she gets the job - he won't seriously consider anyone but me for the job!!! WAHOO - how cool would that be? I love that office - I know the area and the clients - it would be a bit of a commute but it would be worth it!

Tonight - School wide graduation banquet
Tomorrow - Commencement
Saturday - BBQ to celebrate!!!!

WAHOOOOOOO!!!!!

another thing to check off the long list

Wednesday marks the end of my field placement. How quickly this semester has flown. When our Seminar professor told us at the beginning of the semester the final semester goes by in a heartbeat and is so busy I was slightly skeptical. NOW... well now is another story, I dont think it even took a heartbeat and busy does NOT describe it, it seems at times I have barely time to breath let alone spend time with family and friends.

I am down to the daily countdown. I have 17 more days until graduation. Can you believe it? It really breaks my heart to say good bye though to my co-workers at the Department of Health and Welfare. They have made this year just amazing - I have learned so much from each of them and will take these lessons into my career. One of my biggest worries is my "real job" just wont measure up after such a wonderful experience.

Soooo whats left to do???

1- finish my resiliency paper (learn how to spell resiliancy... )
2- finish my journal
3- take my final
4- agency evaluation form
5- present my senior research

Mid Sunday rambling

Today is Easter Sunday. It is a day that as Christians we celebrate the reason we are forgiven. We are given the chance at a new life and a new reason to keep the faith!!! Christ has risen and we are washed anew of our sins. Praise the Lord - He has risen - he has risen indeed!!!!

I had to send my son to his father's again. He was skipping school on such a frequent basis the EOC asked him to go to the regular school and the high school started threatening truancy charges. Rather than having my son go through court systems, juvy and having a mark on his record I made one of the hardest choices. He is mad at me right now but I think I made the right decision. He will be going to a Teen Challenge that is set up with the National Guard. He will do a residential treatment program for 22 weeks and then following that a mentoring program in Wyoming for another year. It is hard to know that he wont be returning to my home until he is almost 18 years old but I think that this is the best program for him but it breaks my heart that he pushed us until we had no choice :(

Graduation is only 33 days away. One month and 3 days - less than 5 weeks away!!!!! I can't believe it is soooooo close!! I am excited. I am ready and I am starting to consider Grad school for accedemic year 2010. I know thatI am going to miss school but I am looking forward to having weeks/months of NO PAPERS being due!!!!!!!!!!
I ordered a graduation ring - it is beautiful - It sits on the finger that my grandma's ring sat on for so many years. My grandmother's ring broke after being worn every day for five years. This ring has a similar shape so it looks beautiful and sits right in the same grove.

Graduation announcements are in and are going out this coming week. I ordered my dress and it should be here in just a few days for the Senior Banquet for Social Workers. I am very excited about this - this celebration means more to me than the actual graduation ceremony because it is so much more personal. There are 12 or 13 students of Social Work graduating compared to several hundred college grads... it is a celebration of my chosen profession. I will post pictures when it is time.

Oh - one more thing before I go - I am graduating Summa Cumm Laude!!!!!!

Only ONE more semester to go!!!

I love school, I love sitting in on lectures, tests don't bother me, I thrive on classroom discussion and I really really love my field placement - HOWEVER (you knew there would be a however right?) I hate hate hate writing papers. Therefore, I am sooooo glad to report that I have only one more semester to go. I will graduate from College in 138 days!!!! In 2 months I will be done with a huge portion of my schooling - I will have my research project finished and will have presented it to the State of Idaho's IV-E Scholars board with a very dear and close friend and partner. After that it will be fairly easy sailing for school at least!!!!

Christmas has come and gone - I always feel a bit sad after Christmas because it means in just a few short days I have to give my kids back to the schools. I would love nothing more to be able to say sorry but I am keeping them for just a while longer. I miss them terribly when they return to school.

We got snow this year - a LOT of snow, we are definately not used to this much snow so it took some serious getting used to - then what happenes? It warmed up and all of it is GONE - melted all away! I am a little bummed (shhh though, don't tell my hunny)

still among the living

just beyond busy!!! Between school and my field placement - well, I have time to give my kids a hug and kiss my husband during the week - thats aboout it!!!

I am loving my field placement so far - I don't like the drive so much but the placement itself is a good fit!!!

I haven't had a chance to talk to my lil' brother yet - we have kept in contact a bit online though.

Prayer request -

Please pray for my dear friend Hol and her family. She has been diagnosed with colorectal cancer. At this time the prognosis is good - please pray for them as she goes through treatment

Thats about it - sorry but I have yet another paper to get finished with and have my internship that I have to go to bed early for - Take care

ummmm - forgive me if I am distracted - or a flake

I am in shock -
I am a little - strike that a LOT nervous
I am shaky
I have cried a few times
I sit and stare and don't know HOW to react - or what to say
what has me feeling like this? I added my little brother to my myspace page -
Imagine being seven years old, and going to your grandma's house for Christmas - Your father dropped you off and your mother picked you up for the visit. At the end of Christmas break, your father never returned - he and his wife moved with your little brother.
that was the last time I saw my brother - I have talked with him 4-5 times as young adult but lost contact about 14 years ago
my stepmom divorced my biofather and remarried. This guy adopted my brother- My step mom died 20 years ago during childbirth - shortly after that my brother went into the foster care system -
I have searched for him - knowing that there are sooo many Samuel S******* that live in the US - I thought the reality of locating him was so slim that it would be easier to find aneadle in a hay stack -
I held out hope
and now
we found him - Praise the Lord - we found him

a few more details -

On the 3rd - I left work with intense stomach and back pain - well not really cramps but probably the worst pain I have felt in ages - but taking some tylenol pm and going to bed with a heat pack - and I was up and moving the next day - and strangely enough, other than some odd cramping didn't have any pain for another week.

Fast forward to the 11th - I am enjoying one of my last days at the beach and had a slight twing in my back, similar to the tell my friend what had happened the week before. Within 10 minutes I was hurting so badly that I decided it was time to pack up the kids and go home. I got to the car and that was as far as I got - I was hurting so badly that I was in tears and so I sat there for another 15 minutes trying to breath through the pain (think lamaze style breathing) when that didn't work, I told my friend I wanted to go to the hospital and to please call brian.

At the hospital they told me that I had a 5mm kidney stone that was just outside of the kidney. They gave me pain meds and sent me home

For the next two days I spent a lot of time in pain and heavily medicated and bawling because it hurt so bad - On the 13th I went back to the hospital - again - they gave me pain meds and sent me home -

On Friday I was having a good morning so I went to Bi-Mart with my kids to do a bit of shopping. While I was there, people I had worked with asked where I had been and what was going on - I told them and one of the ladies said let me guess - you were going to TriState right? I said yeah - she goes "they are notorious for making people try to wait it out"- if it happened again go straight to St. Joes - Okay I told her but I was sure since I was having a relatively low pain day that the stone passed into my bladder and I would be okay

however, that lasted all of 1 day before I was hurting again, but because I am a tightwad and was already nervous about all the medical bills we were racking up - I suffered through it - until Monday night - I went to bed at 9pm because of the meds and consistant pain I was just exhasted - I woke up just before midnight in the worst pain I had ever felt - after trying to deal with it for an hour (glutton for punishment?) I asked my hunny to take me to the hospital.

They got me through triage and paperwork within minutes and had me in the ER. When we told them what had been going on the dr immediately ordered an x-ray. Within the hour I was admitted into the hospital and placed on the surgical ward. Unfortunately the Urologist was already booked completely for surgery that day and he wanted to wait on lab tests before surgery.

TriState got the fact that I had a kidney stone correct - however - it was 6mm and still in the kidney - in fact it was stuck in the duct - which was why it was hurting so bad - The dr said that the stone would never have passed without intervention. I recieved top quality care, the nurses were so wonderful - they seemed to really understand real patient care - because I could not have asked for better.

Thankfully I listened to my x-coworker and went to St. Joes hospital and was properly taken care of - from now on, I won't waste my time with TriState!!!

Hi Honeys I am home

Thanks for all the prayers and hugs. I am feeling so much better- SORE as anything but.... BETTER!!!So I get to the hospital Monday late night - they took an x-ray and admitted me immediately - They were shocked that the other hospital would send me home since it as 6mm and STILL in the kidney They admitted me - and the Urologist came in on Tuesday morning - surgery was wed - I was hurting bad on WED night - my bladder is going to be swollen for a few days- I have to take it easy for the next three weeks - because I have a stint in my left ureter. I go in mid-Sept to have that removed. its AMAZING how good I feel - I mean I am sore but I am not hurting like I was. Thanks for all the prayers - they have been felt AND appriciated.

not so late night rambling -

its not as late as usual at least - I am tired!!!

I have been long over due to get back here and post, however I have been so busy that I have not had the chance to.

Life is good for the most part!!! We are poor as paupers this summer with having all three kids home and eating us out of house and home over the summer. My husband finally understood why I have been so overwhelmed with our food budget when he went to the store for milk and bread and spent 10 dollars just on the two items. NOW he understands!!!!

I went and got a temp job at this new store that is opening up across the street from my home. It is a Bi-Mart. I am really enjoying the experience - once I stopped feeling like it was a major step back to take the job I realized I was doing what I could to help my family and that is more important - that and reminding myself this is a temp job and I am not quitting college to pursue a career in retail HAHA!!!

I have been working 8 hour days but they are a very busy 8 hours and I come home simply exhasted. I stay up as late as I can so I can visit with my husband and kids and enjoy some cool air but by about 10ish I can't manage to keep my eyes open and fall into bed.

ITS ALMOST TIME FOR SCHOOL TO RESUME!!!!

As a senior I have had the opportunity to develop friendships with other students - and I have to say I really miss them. However, I can tell that summer break is coming to a close because recently I have started recieving emails asking if I am ready for school to start up and if I am getting antsy - my answer is YES!!!!! I am ready for this year to start - I am soooooooo VERY VERY VERY excited. Nervous too - but very excited!!!

I am looking forward to working for one of my professors as a co-op student. I am really really looking forward to working in groups with two of my classmates AND I am very very much so looking forward to my internship - I am so nervous and so worried but at the same time - I am so excited because this is where I will see if it is a good fit for me - I am putting into practice all the information that my professors have been trying to impress on us.

sooo - thats about it - things that are running through my head before it hits the pillow -

I hope that you all have a wonderful night and until next time - Take care!

Baby Steps Right??? Another step ventured

I have been in control of the finances for over 10 years - and my husband acts like I am keeping him from enjoying stuff such as new books and movies - and well I never really let him in on how tight funds were - not trying to be secretive - just didn't want to burden him

Last night after balancing the checkbook and seeing that we were going to be short again this payperiod I said a quick prayer and then went to hubbie with checkbook in hand -

I told him that I was really having a hard time because with the prices of everything we are strapped financially and unless something changes I didn't see it getting better - we were 300 in the hole and every payday was just robbing peter to pay paul - I showed him that all we have been spending money on is food and gas and bills - no extras -

He and I talked and he goes - okay I will call the bank tomorrow and see what we can do -

He called them - they refinanced our truck loan and gave us 500 AND lowered our payment by 70 dollars a month!!!!! WAHOOOOO! PLUS we don't have a payment until the end of next month - this months payment was due on Friday.

And the bestpart is - I think my husband understands that I am not being mean and telling him no - and I feel better not having to bear the burden -

sorry I haven't updated

I am kind of busy acting like a newly-wed again!!!!

Falling in love with the man I love all over again - so forgive me that I haven't been around -

enjoy this picture for now though -

an update of sorts

there have been some awsome changes in my marraige! One of the biggest issues between dh and I was that I always took back seat to his job - if we were out and someone ran out of propane - they called him and he never ignored it - even though there are 4 other drivers between the two districts -

DH actually talked to his boss - for the past 8 years that he has worked for the company he has been on call 24/7 - even when we are on vacation - (which he got called last year while we were on vacation)

all the other guys either don't answer their phones or " have had a beer" and can't go out. If no one answers then they ALL get written up -Therefore, my husband felt responsible to take all the calls - so they (call center) started just calling him for both districts rather than rotating it.

unfortunately this meant we couldn't make plans for anything at night or on the weekends. He has gotten called out in the middle of birthday parties, christmas eve - anniversary - and it has become a very sore point between the two of us.

ANYWAYS - back to the changes - he talked to his suppervisor and told her that his job was causing a lot of stress between us because we weren't able to spend or plan anything meaningful more than one weekend a year because the other guys were not holding up their ends of the bargains

She listened and they had a meeting - One guy is on call for both districts for a week- if they don't answer their phone or don't take the run- then they get written up - 2 write ups means no raise for the year - 3 means you get fired - So he will only be on call 1 week a month rather than constantly WAHOOOOO!!!!

First thing he did was tell them that he wanted the next two weeks off of being on call - our anniversary is this week on Thursday and then dd's bday is next weekend - I couldn't believe he did that - and his boss said he had definately earned the time off of being on call -

a day at the beach

and I am slightly sunburned!!!

we went and purhased our fireworks - lots and lots of fireworks -

then there was the lightning storm!

I am scared of lightning - I have been hiding all night - in a room with NO windows so I can't see any of it!

I love the valley